Visitng Old Friends: Getting to Know Plant Spirits

In the last few weeks I have felt a swell of anxiety begin to stir. This isn't a new feeling to me. In fact, my struggle with anxiety almost two years ago is exactly what turned me to herbalism in the first place. I was trying conventional medications, but I just didn't feel myself nor was I feeling much better. I was struggling with some intense anxiety and needed something in my life to shift.

That's when I found herbalism or perhaps the plants found me. I began preparing quarts of tea every day. My room started to fill with jars of milky oats, lemon balm, kava kava, skullcap, tulsi, borage, wood betony, st.john's wort, reishi, and rose. After a few months of regular teas, tinctures, and flower essences, I began to slowly and subtly feel myself again. It didn't happen overnight, but it did happen. And in a very powerful way. The plants cleared my anxiety and also cleared a path so that I could do the personal work I needed to do. While I was grateful to have the medications available to control my anxiety when I felt it was at an unmanageable level, I also felt that the medication numbed not only my anxiety, but also my whole self. When I began turning to herbal healing, I felt much more aware of my life and able to actively nurture the person I wanted to become. And I was able to do so safely, naturally, and with no unwanted side-effects.

I have been fortunate enough to feel that my struggle with acute anxiety has passed. After a few months I stopped taking the herbs and have had some downs and lots of ups in the last two years and have felt emotionally balanced and grounded through these experiences. However, in the last couple of weeks I have felt an increase in anxiety due to a few changes in my personal and professional life. In particular, I have had a hard time letting go, relaxing, getting to sleep, and returning to balance after a moment of stress. It was time to go back to my old herb friends that had helped me before.

But this time it was different. When I started drinking a daily tea of milky oats, wood betony, and tulsi it was as if I was being welcomed into a good friend's home. We had built a relationship before, so we just took up where we left off. I felt significant changes in my mood very quickly. I felt very strongly how much these herbs are not just a means to an end. Rather, these herbs are living spirits in a very real and palpable way. In addition to feeling less anxious, I also made some quick changes in my life which immediately became obvious were choices that were best for my health and happiness. Drinking my tea each day didn't feel like just drinking some helpful herbs. I felt much more like I was visiting with a comforting and wise grandmother. Having spent time nurturing a relationship in the past with these plants, they were now my allies. They were capable of strong healing. Their spirits immediately reached out to my spirit. When that happens its hard to tell if what occurs is healing or transformation.